Before writing too much I want to make one thing clear and that it is very important you listen to your local government’s latest advice and regulations. In the UK people are still sadly dying every day and the NHS is under a lot of strain. I want to thank everyone who has continued to work and doing their part to help beat this virus.
Normally politics and things like COVID is not something I would write about. However, I think at the start of 2021 mental health is something I should write about. I can’t say I ever really understood the importance of mental health at first, I’ll admit I have had friends struggle before with it and I’ll be honest I did fuck all to help. Little did I know how difficult it really can be. To them friends who I didn’t really help I’m sorry and want to do more whenever I can for you.
The last time I posted on my blog was the 1st of December 2020. You may remember I had a lot of posts planned to throw the year out with a bang as in terms of my blog and socials it had been a successful year with 23% year on year growth on my blog and 242% growth in Social impressions. I had a lot to celebrate, with things like Christmas, the end of 2020 and things like reviewing the new Apple Fitness+ I had a lot to talk about too.
Then I sort of disappeared, this is the first blog post since the first of December and if you follow me on Strava I only ran once in December and that was on the 3rd. The reason for this was because my mental health was starting to go a bit crazy. At first, I couldn’t eat, I would literally just force myself to eat a sandwich and then eventually It would be time for bed expect I wouldn’t be able to sleep I’d be in bed with my head going crazy. Eventually I would get some sleep and wake up stuck in the same loop of not being able to eat. To try and calm my mind down I started to work a lot of extra hours. Hours that I wouldn’t even get paid for just attempting to calm my head when that didn’t work, I started going for random (fairly fast) drives. I eventually realised that this was going to end up getting myself killed and I didn’t want that so that stopped.
Christmas came and my head was getting better. However, as I write that I realise it was because I had been drinking about 9 days in a row. So not really much better considering I used to only drink like once a month on my days off. New Year’s Eve came along and generally I was okay. I spent midnight at home (As you should have been with COVID about) with my family which was nice but when they went to bed, I pretty much drank myself to sleep. New Year’s Day I was working, obviously I was quite miserable when I got to work as I didn’t exactly have the happiest of New years and I took that anger out on my arm. Not something I want to encourage at all, I know how much of a stupid thing it is too do and it 100% is a stupid thing to do, I think about it now and I don’t even understand why I did it.
Normally I wouldn’t share this sort of stuff on my blog or anywhere online for that fact, but I believe sharing this story encourages something which has been lost in a way through COVID-19 and that is human interaction. Check up on your friends, your family and even your work colleges even if they are annoying. Whilst they may say on the outside that they are okay they could really be struggling through this pandemic. One thing I remember thinking when I was feeling particularly down is “What’s the point of being here when all we can do is nothing and stay alone at home all the time?” In the UK we’ve been in a lockdown in a way for almost a year now. Thinking about what life was like before is extremely difficult.
Now my mind is okay again but the message I’m trying to provide by sharing this story is that keep in touch with your friends, keep in touch with your family and even why not message someone you used to speak too but haven’t for ages. Make sure there okay and look after one another. Listen to the government’s advice, again I want to reiterate the importance of following the guidance but just remember You are not alone.
Kyle Wilkinson.
A lot of people in the past year have sadly lost their jobs and are struggling to get by if you need to talk to anyone below are some useful numbers but also you can Direct message me anytime for a talk on Twitter my DM’s are open. www.twitter.com/kylewilkinson46
MIND: 03001233393
Samaritans: 116 123
Calm: 0800585858 you can also webchat here 5pm to midnight everyday https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/webchat/
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